36. Some bloke

Because I've not been doing well lately, here's a chap I found. He should perhaps take a visit to the optician.

35. Michael Fink

Another one inspired by The Sartorialist. Michael Fink is also in men's fashion and it seems that I might be too.

34. G.Bruce Boyer

I've become a little addicted to The Sartorialist lately. It's a fantastic blog that makes me want to turn out anything remotely casual in my wardrobe and replace it all with lovely suits, shirts and ties. G.Bruce Boyer is a fashion writer who's style looms large over the blog. Seriously, who'd rather wear a t-shirt than look this good?

33. John Ehrlichman

My A level historians have been learning all about the Cold War over the last couple of weeks and so it was that we were came across John Ehrlichman. Mr E. was Richard Nixon's Assistant for Domestic Affairs and played a key role in the Watergate scandal, for which he was convicted of perjury and served time in a federal jail. At the time, though, he was bald both of head AND chin, so here is a picture taken from the excellent series about the cold war, called 'Cold War'. Those TV producers really earn their money, don't they?

32. Andy Parsons

Andy Parsons, it seems, divides the comedy community. He's a regular panelist on Mock the Week and other light, amusing and, frankly, shoddy panel shows, but there is a body who simply can't stand him. 'Die, die, die', one internet commentator commented. He does have a quality, a certain something which is a little grating. I think that's it's something to do with always being 'in character': on the other hand, check out the bearded baldness. No glasses, but, as Meat Loaf so elegantly reminded us, two out of three ain't bad. Lately, Mr P. has gone for the King Charles beard, something I've always fancied, but never had the balls to try. Maybe at the end of this quest.

31. Moby

I've always liked the cut of Moby's jib. A Christian vegan techno ambient punk ball of smallness, he's managed to keep me interested in whatever he's done since I first saw him playing at the Greenbelt festival in the mid-1990s. I've always had a fondness for 'Feeling So Real', which sounds huge on a good club system. Of course, I've been in nightclubs about twice in my life, but on one of those occasions I was DJ, so I played this. I also played 'Once in a Lifetime', which went down really badly

30. Sophie Joannou

Okay, I'll admit it, this is simply an excuse to put the first photo of my new niece on here. However, my good friend Sarah Appleton tagged the photo with my name on Facebook, so clearly there must be some resemblance. I guess under that hat, she's probably not got so much hair. Perhaps one can picture a tiny pair of black spectacles? But the beard ... I don't think so. Not unless she one day wants a job in a travelling circus from the 1920s.

29. Mr Lego.

Here's a piece of Lego that looks a bit like me.

28. Ken Bruce

This morning I did my first exam in a long time, hopefully righting a 21 year old wrong. However, as much as I'd like a History GCSE, what I really want to ace is Ken Bruce's 'Popmaster', as heard on Radio 2 every week day at about 10.30am. For years, Mrs E. has encouraged me to phone in and enter but, and I'm happy to admit this, I'm scared. Anyone can do history (honestly - piece of piss; dead easy) but putting my knowledge of popular music up for examination, well that's of a whole different order. What if I don't win? I'd never live it down.

Anyway, I ask you to do some internal photoshopping with the pictures. Ken is either bald and with glasses, or he's bearded and without glasses. Please put the photos together.

27. Peter Gabriel

I'm going to make a bold and, indeed, radical statement here: Sledgehammer is the best song of the 1980s. Now I know that I'm talking about a golden age of pop music here and there really were many, many amazing songs around, but Sledgehammer has it all. Lets start with the bass - a groovy, sloopy line that keeps the whole thing moving along nicely. On top there's that amazing synth brass part that is unashamed at being synthesised and the flute part played using a preset sound on the Emulator II. Finally, it all came together in the incredible stop motion video. I urge you all (like there's anyone reading this. No comments so far and only 3 followers!) to check out this live version of Sledgehammer. Who knew that Peter Gabriel was sexy?

Of course, the answer to that should rest in this photo.

26. Al from Toy Story 2.

I love Toy Story, I really do; it's brilliantly observed, full of those little details that one only notices on the fifth viewing and, of course, very funny. No, I have no problem with it at all, except that since the DVD came into the house a fortnight or so ago, my son has, in common with most small boys, become obsessed with it. It's been on at least once a day since then, and sometimes twice. I know the script by heart and, to the annoyance of all, can sing all the songs. Sometimes in tune. Such is young Toby's obsession that he won't move on to the sequel, Toy Story (you guessed it) 2, where we can see the frankly criminal Al, proprietor of Al's Toy Barn and stealer of valuable cowboy toys. If I was really honest, Al looks rather more like my friend Lee Turbard than me, but seeing as Lee has already featured on this blog, it's all good.

25. Steve Austin

Stone Cold Steve is a wrestler and movie actor. All well and good, but check out that neck! It's actually wider than his head!

24. Ali G

I knew that at some point in this voyage of (self) discovery I would have to tackle the Ali G. question. Lets be clear from the start: he may have the goatee and glasses, and we'll never be sure what the 'hat' covers, but Mr G is somewhat of a problem to the rest of the bald-goatee-glasses community. As a comedy character, we are forced to concede that his look is up for ridicule and yet we know what a great look it really is. Must we then only laugh at the tracksuit? What then, for the yellow tracksuit blogger, looking for 100 people in yellow tracksuits? His quest would surely start with Ali G and he might point to the beard as a work of comedy genius. Its an insoluble problem.

Tomorrow, a WWF wrestler.

23. Red 6

Like so many men of my age, Star Wars plays a central role in my life. It was the first film I saw at the cinema and remains the movie against which all others are judged. And it still has the power to take me back to that first time, even through the fog of innumerable viewings since then; on video, back at the cinema when they were re-released and now on DVD. Like all our favourite things, it is all so familiar and yet still has the capacity to surprise. So it was this morning, when during the attack on the Death Star, Mrs Elliott got very excited when she noticed someone-who-looks-a-bit-like-me piloting one of the Rebel fighters. Red 6, AKA Jek (and I'm not making this up) Porkins looks a little too corpulent for the job, but I guess the Rebel leaders were taken in with his rugged good looks and well crafted beard.

22. Peter Gibbs

I've just been watching the weather forecast when it slowly dawned on me that Peter Gibbs really needed to be included here, so here he is.

Why, though, are we so concerned with the weather forecast? What, for a vast majority of people on most days of the year, might actually change because of a weather prediction? And, of course, it is merely a prediction - it's little better than a good guess. I can guess on my own, yet all the major TV channels waste time and money on flashy graphics and separate presenters to tell us about something that they know little more than me about.

On the other hand, if it gives TV exposure to a man like Mr Gibbs, then it must be a good thing.

21. Homer Simpson

You all know Homer, I'm sure, so what else is there to say that hasn't been before? Only that Mrs Elliott insisted I include Homer wearing his glasses at some point. I think she fancies him a bit.

20. Mr Potato Head

Hurrah! I've got to number 20 in this evermore epic quest. And who doesn't love Mr Potato Head? Star of the Toy Story movies (TS 3 this summer!) and general good time guy. I have a Darth Tater on my desk, but here he is in his purest form. Mr PH was suggested by students in GCSE history class, who should have been working on revision. I should have been teaching them, but instead I sat and wrote this. Only 80 to go.

19. Jimmy Vivino

I don't include a picture for Jimmy Vivino and instead ask you to watch this clip. Jimmy Vivino is a session guitarist and member of The Fab Faux, here performing side two of 'Abbey Road' in its entirety. It is, simply, stunning. As you watch, I urge you to remember two things.
1. This was done live - something the Beatles never did with Abbey Road
2. None of the Beatles looked nearly as great as Mr Vivino.

Enjoy.

The Fab Faux - Abbey Road Side 2 (mostly) from The Fab Faux on Vimeo.

18. Lee Turbard

Many years ago, I was having dinner with my wife in Pizza Express in Colchester. We were having a quick meal before going to a gig with friends, so we spent the meal talking about some of them, as you do. We finished eating, paid the waitress and got up to leave. As I stood up, I saw my good friend Lee over the other side of the restaurant also getting up from his table and so, as you would, waved at him. Just as I opened my mouth to call over, I realised that there was no other side to the restaurant and instead there was a huge mirror. My friend Lee was, in fact, me.

Here he is, playing bass and looking good.

17. An unknown doctor

My daughter has been in hospital this week after having had surgery. In tribute to the excellent medical practitioners who have been putting her to sleep, cutting her open, making sure she wakes up again, putting her in a huge lower body cast, giving her lots of drugs, changing her bed sheets and plenty of other things, here is a picture of a great looking doctor. It is definitely copyright, so I really shouldn't use it, but whatareyagonnado?

And I bet he's not a real doctor.