Thursday 5 August 2010

36. Some bloke


Because I've not been doing well lately, here's a chap I found. He should perhaps take a visit to the optician.

Thursday 29 July 2010

35. Michael Fink


Another one inspired by The Sartorialist. Michael Fink is also in men's fashion and it seems that I might be too.

34. G.Bruce Boyer

I've become a little addicted to The Sartorialist lately. It's a fantastic blog that makes me want to turn out anything remotely casual in my wardrobe and replace it all with lovely suits, shirts and ties. G.Bruce Boyer is a fashion writer who's style looms large over the blog. Seriously, who'd rather wear a t-shirt than look this good?

Tuesday 6 July 2010

33. John Ehrlichman


My A level historians have been learning all about the Cold War over the last couple of weeks and so it was that we were came across John Ehrlichman. Mr E. was Richard Nixon's Assistant for Domestic Affairs and played a key role in the Watergate scandal, for which he was convicted of perjury and served time in a federal jail. At the time, though, he was bald both of head AND chin, so here is a picture taken from the excellent series about the cold war, called 'Cold War'. Those TV producers really earn their money, don't they?

Wednesday 30 June 2010

32. Andy Parsons


Andy Parsons, it seems, divides the comedy community. He's a regular panelist on Mock the Week and other light, amusing and, frankly, shoddy panel shows, but there is a body who simply can't stand him. 'Die, die, die', one internet commentator commented. He does have a quality, a certain something which is a little grating. I think that's it's something to do with always being 'in character': on the other hand, check out the bearded baldness. No glasses, but, as Meat Loaf so elegantly reminded us, two out of three ain't bad. Lately, Mr P. has gone for the King Charles beard, something I've always fancied, but never had the balls to try. Maybe at the end of this quest.

Saturday 12 June 2010

31. Moby


I've always liked the cut of Moby's jib. A Christian vegan techno ambient punk ball of smallness, he's managed to keep me interested in whatever he's done since I first saw him playing at the Greenbelt festival in the mid-1990s. I've always had a fondness for 'Feeling So Real', which sounds huge on a good club system. Of course, I've been in nightclubs about twice in my life, but on one of those occasions I was DJ, so I played this. I also played 'Once in a Lifetime', which went down really badly

Thursday 10 June 2010

30. Sophie Joannou


Okay, I'll admit it, this is simply an excuse to put the first photo of my new niece on here. However, my good friend Sarah Appleton tagged the photo with my name on Facebook, so clearly there must be some resemblance. I guess under that hat, she's probably not got so much hair. Perhaps one can picture a tiny pair of black spectacles? But the beard ... I don't think so. Not unless she one day wants a job in a travelling circus from the 1920s.

Wednesday 9 June 2010

29. Mr Lego.


Here's a piece of Lego that looks a bit like me.

28. Ken Bruce



This morning I did my first exam in a long time, hopefully righting a 21 year old wrong. However, as much as I'd like a History GCSE, what I really want to ace is Ken Bruce's 'Popmaster', as heard on Radio 2 every week day at about 10.30am. For years, Mrs E. has encouraged me to phone in and enter but, and I'm happy to admit this, I'm scared. Anyone can do history (honestly - piece of piss; dead easy) but putting my knowledge of popular music up for examination, well that's of a whole different order. What if I don't win? I'd never live it down.

Anyway, I ask you to do some internal photoshopping with the pictures. Ken is either bald and with glasses, or he's bearded and without glasses. Please put the photos together.

Friday 4 June 2010

27. Peter Gabriel


I'm going to make a bold and, indeed, radical statement here: Sledgehammer is the best song of the 1980s. Now I know that I'm talking about a golden age of pop music here and there really were many, many amazing songs around, but Sledgehammer has it all. Lets start with the bass - a groovy, sloopy line that keeps the whole thing moving along nicely. On top there's that amazing synth brass part that is unashamed at being synthesised and the flute part played using a preset sound on the Emulator II. Finally, it all came together in the incredible stop motion video. I urge you all (like there's anyone reading this. No comments so far and only 3 followers!) to check out this live version of Sledgehammer. Who knew that Peter Gabriel was sexy?

Of course, the answer to that should rest in this photo.

Thursday 3 June 2010

26. Al from Toy Story 2.


I love Toy Story, I really do; it's brilliantly observed, full of those little details that one only notices on the fifth viewing and, of course, very funny. No, I have no problem with it at all, except that since the DVD came into the house a fortnight or so ago, my son has, in common with most small boys, become obsessed with it. It's been on at least once a day since then, and sometimes twice. I know the script by heart and, to the annoyance of all, can sing all the songs. Sometimes in tune. Such is young Toby's obsession that he won't move on to the sequel, Toy Story (you guessed it) 2, where we can see the frankly criminal Al, proprietor of Al's Toy Barn and stealer of valuable cowboy toys. If I was really honest, Al looks rather more like my friend Lee Turbard than me, but seeing as Lee has already featured on this blog, it's all good.

Tuesday 25 May 2010

25. Steve Austin


Stone Cold Steve is a wrestler and movie actor. All well and good, but check out that neck! It's actually wider than his head!

Monday 24 May 2010

24. Ali G


I knew that at some point in this voyage of (self) discovery I would have to tackle the Ali G. question. Lets be clear from the start: he may have the goatee and glasses, and we'll never be sure what the 'hat' covers, but Mr G is somewhat of a problem to the rest of the bald-goatee-glasses community. As a comedy character, we are forced to concede that his look is up for ridicule and yet we know what a great look it really is. Must we then only laugh at the tracksuit? What then, for the yellow tracksuit blogger, looking for 100 people in yellow tracksuits? His quest would surely start with Ali G and he might point to the beard as a work of comedy genius. Its an insoluble problem.

Tomorrow, a WWF wrestler.

Sunday 23 May 2010

23. Red 6


Like so many men of my age, Star Wars plays a central role in my life. It was the first film I saw at the cinema and remains the movie against which all others are judged. And it still has the power to take me back to that first time, even through the fog of innumerable viewings since then; on video, back at the cinema when they were re-released and now on DVD. Like all our favourite things, it is all so familiar and yet still has the capacity to surprise. So it was this morning, when during the attack on the Death Star, Mrs Elliott got very excited when she noticed someone-who-looks-a-bit-like-me piloting one of the Rebel fighters. Red 6, AKA Jek (and I'm not making this up) Porkins looks a little too corpulent for the job, but I guess the Rebel leaders were taken in with his rugged good looks and well crafted beard.

Thursday 20 May 2010

22. Peter Gibbs


I've just been watching the weather forecast when it slowly dawned on me that Peter Gibbs really needed to be included here, so here he is.

Why, though, are we so concerned with the weather forecast? What, for a vast majority of people on most days of the year, might actually change because of a weather prediction? And, of course, it is merely a prediction - it's little better than a good guess. I can guess on my own, yet all the major TV channels waste time and money on flashy graphics and separate presenters to tell us about something that they know little more than me about.

On the other hand, if it gives TV exposure to a man like Mr Gibbs, then it must be a good thing.

Thursday 13 May 2010

21. Homer Simpson


You all know Homer, I'm sure, so what else is there to say that hasn't been before? Only that Mrs Elliott insisted I include Homer wearing his glasses at some point. I think she fancies him a bit.

Wednesday 12 May 2010

20. Mr Potato Head


Hurrah! I've got to number 20 in this evermore epic quest. And who doesn't love Mr Potato Head? Star of the Toy Story movies (TS 3 this summer!) and general good time guy. I have a Darth Tater on my desk, but here he is in his purest form. Mr PH was suggested by students in GCSE history class, who should have been working on revision. I should have been teaching them, but instead I sat and wrote this. Only 80 to go.

Tuesday 4 May 2010

19. Jimmy Vivino

I don't include a picture for Jimmy Vivino and instead ask you to watch this clip. Jimmy Vivino is a session guitarist and member of The Fab Faux, here performing side two of 'Abbey Road' in its entirety. It is, simply, stunning. As you watch, I urge you to remember two things.
1. This was done live - something the Beatles never did with Abbey Road
2. None of the Beatles looked nearly as great as Mr Vivino.

Enjoy.

The Fab Faux - Abbey Road Side 2 (mostly) from The Fab Faux on Vimeo.

Sunday 2 May 2010

18. Lee Turbard


Many years ago, I was having dinner with my wife in Pizza Express in Colchester. We were having a quick meal before going to a gig with friends, so we spent the meal talking about some of them, as you do. We finished eating, paid the waitress and got up to leave. As I stood up, I saw my good friend Lee over the other side of the restaurant also getting up from his table and so, as you would, waved at him. Just as I opened my mouth to call over, I realised that there was no other side to the restaurant and instead there was a huge mirror. My friend Lee was, in fact, me.

Here he is, playing bass and looking good.

Sunday 25 April 2010

17. An unknown doctor


My daughter has been in hospital this week after having had surgery. In tribute to the excellent medical practitioners who have been putting her to sleep, cutting her open, making sure she wakes up again, putting her in a huge lower body cast, giving her lots of drugs, changing her bed sheets and plenty of other things, here is a picture of a great looking doctor. It is definitely copyright, so I really shouldn't use it, but whatareyagonnado?

And I bet he's not a real doctor.

Wednesday 14 April 2010

16. Will Harris


Will Harris is another online find, found after searching for 'bald goatee glasses' (and that's a search I can heartily recommend to all) but it turns out that Mr Harris is, actually, really quite interesting. I've always been a little envious of those who can turn their hand to any number of jobs, especially so if they're doing them at the same time. Will is a writer, a web designer, a typeface expert AND an actor. Whether he's any good at any of these things is, of course, beyond the remit of this particular blog. Instead, I'll simply say that with a look like that, the work should be pouring in.

Friday 9 April 2010

15. Michael Moore


It's been a busy few weeks, so my plan for a post a day has gone right out of the window. Anyway, here's number 15, everybody's favourite left-wing documentary maker, Michael Moore. He's had a few different looks over the years; full beard, no beard at all, but here he is with the best beard of all. Now, I know what you're thinking; that's a whole lot of hair up top. I'd merely ask you to remember the name of the blog and the fact that I've still got 85 people to find. I thought it might be easy.

Saturday 3 April 2010

14. Kyle Gass


I'll be quick on this one: Jack Black may get all the kudos, but Kyle's the one rockin' the look the ladies love.

Wednesday 31 March 2010

13. Pipe smoking bald man


Us bearded baldies are, of course, in a class of our own. This much is true. However, there are those within this elite group that rise above us all. I say no more, except that one day I too will smoke a pipe but will never be this cool.

See this demi-God in action here.

Monday 29 March 2010

12. William Armstrong


I have to thank KTTS 94.7FM ('Country's Best') broadcasting out of Springfield, Missouri for this. I'll let them tell you about William Armstrong

"Police are asking for your help catching a man from Springfield with warrants out for his arrest. Crime Stoppers says William Shawn Armstrong is wanted for First Degree Assault and for not showing up to face a felony charge of Child Neglect. Armstrong is 31 years old, white, with a bald head, goatee and thick prescription glasses."

Bald head, goatee and glasses. With that look, there's not a judge in the land, etc, etc.

11. The Puzzler


My son, the final arbiter as to whether someone looks a bit like me, loves The Numberjacks, one of the most peculiar and scary children's 'educational' programmes. I can't even begin to try and explain what it's all about, but the Puzzler is simply a floating head who comes and does things with numbers that upset the natural order of things. So there he floats, laughing occasionally with a Sid James/Lou Carpenter laugh and amusing the lad. However, he completely freaks me out, so I think we should move on quickly.


Saturday 27 March 2010

9 and 10. Men from gay web site*



I'm already getting slack and missed a day yesterday, so here are two lookers my wife found online. Both are anonymous and are to be found on the 'magic of ordinary guys' blog. I only wish I'd known sooner that the bald with goatee look was so attractive to some gay men - I may have made some different lifestyle choices.

* By this I mean that the website is aimed at a gay audience, not that the website itself is gay. That would be silly.


Thursday 25 March 2010

8. David Applebaum


Like Rob, from 'High Fidelity' (perhaps my favourite film [after Star Wars, but that's a given]), on my Top 5 Jobs list would almost certainly be Architect. I've been trying to think about why and I really don't know. I don't have a creative bone in my body, my interest in structural engineering is shaky at best and I don't really want to go back to university for that long. Perhaps it's the black polo-neck jumpers or the fact that, according to todays person-who-looks-a-bit-like-me, I could possibly fool a few people into thinking I'm already there. David Applebaum designs houses for the wealthy, most of which are pretty ugly, unlike him.

Wednesday 24 March 2010

7. John Travolta


Some might say that he's let himself go, but we all know that finally he's got it going on. Sure, he looked good in the white flared suit and nobody could rock the 50s leather look better. Hell, he even made heroin addiction and murder look like a worthy choice. Yet after all the dancing, singing, shooting (up) and scientology, John Travolta is now sporting the look that real men know is the right one. All that's needed now is a trip to Specsavers.

Tuesday 23 March 2010

6. The Shend


In Iceland, surnames as we understand them don't exist; one takes one's father's name and adds -son or -dottir, thus Magnus Magnusson, or Bjork Godmundsdottir. Now this is a great and wonderful thing, but it makes identifying people in, for example, a phone book difficult. As a result, most people are known by their first name only, thus 'Bjork'. Now if I was a better, cleverer writer, who'd actually thought about exactly where this was going, I'd have found a way to link this fact to today's person who looks a bit like me, the musician, actor and hat wearer known only as 'The Shend'. I know nothing more about him, so for more information, I must refer you to my old friend, the man with whom I have shared many a whole chocolate cake, Jon Harding. Actually, Jon's got the goatee and only a little on top as well. You may see him here soon.

Sunday 21 March 2010

5. Rafael Benitez

I have to thank my brother in law in Paraguay (to give him his full title. I also have a brother in law in Biggleswade, but that doesn't sound nearly as exciting.) for suggesting Rafael Benitez. I've never seen him before, indeed not really heard of him either, and though my big brother (in Chelmsford) would be ashamed of this, I guess that Mr B. does look a bit like me.

4. Keith 'off of The Office'



I'm listening to 'White Lines' by Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five via Spotify as I write and having not heard it for many years, I was a little surprised that it didn't jump just before the first 'Freeze - Rock' section, as it did on my single way back when. I may have to pull out the old 7-inch for a session later.

That has nothing at all to do with the entry for day 4 of my voyage of discovery. Keith has rather too much on top for my liking, but the GLW said I ought to include him. I guess he has something of me about him...

More worrying than looking a bit like Keith-off-of-the-office is that already I'm running out of ideas. I may actually have to start hunting people down for inclusion.

Saturday 20 March 2010

3. Henry VIII


Okay, so I might be pushing the boundaries already, but my two year old son always looks at this book cover and gets very excited. I guess I must have something regal and reforming about me...

Friday 19 March 2010

2. Anthony E. Zuiker


This was suggested a few years ago by a student of mine, who came into class one morning very excited that she had seen my doppelgänger on TV. Anthony E. Zuiker produces the CSI franchise, so is considerably more wealthy than me. He's also lost a lot of weight recently, thus letting the side down. Anyway, this is he in rather more corpulent times.

Thursday 18 March 2010

1. Daddy Pig


The physical similarities are almost overwhelming: beard, glasses, slightly rounded middle, fine head of skin. He, like me, enjoys sofa-based activities. Then there's the wife, older daughter and younger son. Damn it, he even named his daughter after a foodstuff. It's almost enough to freak a chap out.

So, congratulations to Daddy Pig - the first of many people who look a bit like me.